Smashing Single Parenthood

Mother’s Day March 2019

‘Happy Mother’s Day!’

In pings cheery text from Small Boy at 6:37 am …. argggh that’s 6:37 am on the first day of British Summer Time!

My bleary eyes may be struggling to open, but it does make me smile. Small Boy is in France, so probably doesn’t know that our clocks have ‘Sprung Forward’. Equally, however, he is quite an early riser and it is now a family tradition that: Christmas; my Birthday;  Mother’s Day start at some ungodly hour with my boy crashing enthusiastically into the bedroom with a tray of breakfast!

The girls, by contrast, are far keener on their weekend lie-ins and so it’s very quiet house that greets me, as I creep downstairs for a cup of tea. I decide that it’s the perfect time, on this National Day of Maternal-ness, to contemplate life as a mum!

The biggest change is that parenthood, life or maybe just becoming older and grumpier has lead to me being far more… forthright (if I’m being generous), or … confrontational (if I  sprinkle that with a frosting of reality.)

‘Quiet‘ was always the adjective used to describe me at school and I am pretty sure I was a fairly diffident young adult too and started out as a fairly meek and mild mum.

As an example, I recall how, in a, now legendary, family incident my mum took on a grumpy ice-cream seller in Harlech, who was picking on one of the kids. It was she who defended our family honour and earned herself the title of ‘Nana the Brave‘. The name stuck for years and if ever the kids faced a tricky situation I’d advise,

‘”Try and sort it out yourself, but if that doesn’t work …. we’ll send in Nana the Brave!’

But, this morning, I’m struggling to remember when we last called upon my mum to sort out any such issues. She’s still there, as fearless and feisty as ever; but somewhere along the line did I become  ‘Mum the Brave!‘

It is me who was likened to a ‘Tigress defending her young‘ by a teacher when I disputed her comments at Parents Evening. (Let’s gloss over the fact that I have since been banned, by all 3 kids, from speaking any more than is absolutely necessary on future visits to their school!) It is me who takes on any any person or institution who thinks they can mess with us. Hey, I’ve even taken on rodents this month!

So more outspoken for sure but is this is a single mum trait? You certainly do have to tough up and find your voice as a sole parent. Read the incredible Dame Susan Black’s story for true inspiration. Whereas my ‘Mum the Brave’ exploits usually revolve around riding to the rescue of my family, she uses her strength to flourish in her own career too. Perhaps that’s a challenge, I should also take on?

But today is Mothering Sunday, Small Boy now  calls to tell me that,

‘I’m having a star named after you Mum ‘

and I decide that conquering the world of work can wait for 24 hours. Today of all days it feels pretty great just to be a mum!