University

University Reunion

beckyjo125Leave a comment

Saturday 28 September 2025

Four decades after arriving at University as an excited 18 year old, I head back for my first ever alumni event.

Well what took me so long? And the answer is, I  really do not know.

Loved University. It had been my dream to go and it was everything and more that I could have hoped for. The best part of it, without question, the wonderful friends I made and still see today. And I suppose that amidst the business of life, a job that invaded most weekends and children to bring up single handed, I just never found the time and energy to race back to Cambridge for a rushed weekend when I already spend much quality time with my favourite folk from the student years.

But now, I am in  a different phase. My children are all grown-up, my job is far more flexible ( and joyously, evenings and weekends have returned to my life.) So,  a weekend in Cambridge with old friends, fine dining and lashings of alcohol? I say, count me in!

I arrive in a small group but even so, am initially a little thrown. Our beloved student bar, with its wooden alcoves and pinball machines is no more. In its place a glossy renovation, not unlike a hotel foyer that leaves me a little cold. Then in mild panic I stare around the room thinking ‘who are all these people?‘ But I am rescued by the genius that is the name tags – to be fair 40 years is a long time and without those badges anyone would struggled to place a few faces – and am soon bus catching up; filling in the gaps of those missing years.

Additionally, it is an action packed schedule. We have a Provost’s Talk, on the state of world order, and are dazzled by the name dropping from top talent at the Wall Street Journal to hobnobbing with Ursula von der Leyen at the UN! By contrast,  Evensong in the Chapel is a pause for calmer  reflection. Here the wonderful choir fill that glorious Gothic building with music, and  beauty and,  for 45 minutes anyway,  the world’s worries melt away and all seems at peace.

But the main event is the dinner and drinks…oh so many drinks. And now the conversation changes from current lives, jobs and children to crazy times from decades ago when we were young and often very foolish. Ill-advised liaisons, the infamous football/netball dinner, the nightmare of mathematics exams and the mystery of the nut cutlet and its collision with an illustrious portrait on the wall of the college dining room. These and many other memories and shared and laughed about and put to rest… I guess until the next time we meet.

Because there will definitely be a next time for me … this has and always will be my happy place…

Even better than Stevie Wonder?

beckyjo1252 Comments

Tuesday 8 July 2025

Did I even mention that Stevie is at the very top of my ‘top three artists I’d love to see live’ list?

I know, probably only about fifty times! Anyway, when a friend hears that my idol is coming a Manchester venue, they express-message the news in bold BLOCK CAPITALS

“STEVIE WONDER 5th August!!! How many tickets?”

And I can’t believe it, because in my heart I think I had never expected to actually make this dream come true.

So why do I  pause? It is that  date…that date rings a bell. I glance at the calendar. And I instantly know that I’ll be giving Stevie, and ‘Superstition’ and those sweet harmonica tunes a serve. Because we have an even better event to attend. Between the 4th and 7th of July, we have not one, but two graduations!

So pushing thoughts of funky soul music aside, we drive North for said July weekend, and what a time we have!

It is four days of unbridled joy. My baby girls, all grown up and graduated! Looking so happy and making me feel so unbelievably proud. The ceremonies and speeches are wonderful, the family meals fun and the fizzy wine freely flowing – looking at some of the pics, a little too freely!

Of course I shed the occasional tear. Hearing the newly qualified doctors all reciting ‘The Oath’ is quite a moment. And in Edinburgh, from high up in the iconic McEwan Hall, seeing Prom Dress daughter, the quiet little soul who didn’t speak for her first 6 months at school, turning to smile confidently to the audience as she receives her scroll, gives me goosebumps.

And of course there are some moments. Small boy and I stay in some very basic University accommodation in Edinburgh and both have to get suited and booted for the fanciful events in small public toilets! At some point, the memory of how is now a little hazy, we also acquire a tartan flat cap!

But perhaps the most  unbelievable moment comes as Ex-Hub and I are watching a procession of new graduates leave the hall in the Scottishcapital.

Ex-Hub takes me aside to say,

I feel so proud but you; you must feel incredible. For all you’ve done I wanted to say. ‘Thank you’

I am dumbfounded. If I’d never believed I would ever see Stevie Wonder in person, then this pales against this. These are simply words I never even dared to dream of hearing! Nothing short of miraculous.

But let me not digress; this weekend and this post belong to my beautiful daughters and to both of themI say,

I got faith in you girl

Stevie Wonder single 2016 from the Soundtrack to Sing

You go out, shape this world for the better and live your best lives now.

As for Stevie, now that I have been convinced that miracles can happen,  … maybe next time?

Christmas 2024

beckyjo1252 Comments

Monday 30 December 2024

Sitting with a coffee and one, of many, left over mini-mince pies, it seems the perfect moment to look back at the festive break…

Once all my kids are safely home, despite load upon load of dirty washing and a speeding ticket, courtesy of the variable-speed-lottery of the M5, it ffeels as if Christmas has begun. It means help with the food shop, extra hands for decorations, time-honoured  cheesy festive films and a house full of laughter and companionship again.

And so to the ‘big day’ itself. Much is familiar: guests, food, crackers, games and fizz.

But there are a few new twists. The hot water packs in on Christmas Eve, so it is cold showers for the hard-core (and a bit of festive grime for the rest) throughout the social season.

Most significant of all, there is  an extra pair of hands in the kitchen… the ill-fated Smallboy. Buoyed by the success of some roast potatoes he’d served up for pals at Uni, he begged to join the Christmas cooking crew. But scarcely had we added his name to the spreadsheet … oh yes, you heard me right, I never do the Xmas dinner without microsoft excel … than calamity starts to dog his every culinary move. Half of our usual crispy spuds became an impromptu mash… and the first tray of turkey had to be hurriedly scooped from the floor, whilst we distracted guests with crackers and paper hats.

I also branch out with my desserts, introducing after -dinner-coffee with  a mini mince pie – Ta da!  In my head,  ‘ultra-chic’. In reality, it goes down about as well as last year’s ‘signature cocktails’ … not a single blinkin’ taker! And hence why, with January on the horizon, I am still munching my way through several boxes of the darned festive pastries!

With the cooking done and the board games exhausted we sink happily down to watch the ‘Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special‘ and my oh my it does no disappoint. I mean. if you were not misty eyed as Mick stands up at the wedding ceremony and up on your feet cheering as the entire cast race to Portsmouth,,, quite frankly, what is wrong with you?

And so the sun sets on another spell of festive cheer. Smith and Ness are married, me and my kids have been re-united. For now, at least, all is well with the world…

Small boy goes to University…

beckyjo1251 Comment

Saturday 7 September 2024

Deep breaths and a spare pack of tissues for me today, for a day I have been dreading has finally dawned. Small boy is leaving home, to start his University adventures …

Of course I am incredibly proud; he is hard-working, talented and has a genuine passion for his subject. It goes without saying that, having loved my own University years, it is all that I would want for him. But golly gosh, it is going to be a wrench and, forgive the cliche but, the end of an era. For three years it has been ‘Mum and Small boy’ in this house, sharing crazy jokes, the silliest of songs, episodes of ‘Suits‘ or ‘The Office‘ , Sunday roasts and Friday takeaways. Such great memories and so much laughter… the thought of the house without him is… well it is unthinkable. Gulp; I need to get it together!

And I do, mostly. Prom-dress daughter is joining us on the road-trip South, for moral support and an extra hand with all the boxes and bags of belongings. With Windsor packed to the rafters with pots, pans, Korean noodles, gaming consoles and, or course, Geoffrey the Bear, we hit the M6. Someone’s Spotify playlist is streamed onto the car radio and, with the promise, of a breakfast stop en-route spirits are high. If only Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Changes’ hadn’t been queued, even I might have made it all the way with dry eyes. But, come on, those lyrics would break even the most resolute!

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

Let’s hope no-one else in the car notices as I quickly brush a few tears from my cheeks.

Happily, there is not time for melancholy, as we hit the bright lights of a new student city, all buzzing with life and excitement. The challenges of parking and lugging the contents of the boot up to the 6th floor in an apartment building where the lift is ‘out of order‘ are now centre-stage. We may be red-faced and sweaty but Small boy’s room is soon looking pretty stylish and, although he is a little nervous, cheerfully greets his flat mates, who seem lovely. We have time for a quick stroll around the city and decide it is time to leave as he is sitting chatting in the kitchen with his new household, setting up a WhatsApp group and planning a night at the pub.

For Small boy, I know that the days will just get better and better, full of opportunities, stretching your brain around amazing ideas and embarking on terrific new friendships. For me, now a confirmed empty nester… it is more of an unknown. The Satnav is set for home and, as I steer Windsor into the darkness, with Prom-dress daughter now asleep by my side, it feels more like an abyss for me, than a bright new dawn.

I am sure I will adapt in time, but I realise I really was not ready for this. Round and round in my head, play the haunting  words of the great Stevie Nicks,

‘I’ve been afraid of changin’, ’cause I’ve built my life around you…’

A Level Results – for the third and final time!

beckyjo1251 Comment

Thursday 15 August 2024

Very little sleep, a sick feeling in the stomach and trying to fight away the thought that the next, few, uncertain minutes hold a totally unfair sway over my son’s destination … it is A Level results day and time to log onto the UCAS site for Smallboy.

In my room, I hold my breath. As a parent, I never feel disappointment in any of my children. They work hard, they try their best, it is all that I ask and always more than enough. What I fear, what I dread, is their disappointment and despondency when results are not what they have hoped for. It can be unbearable.

I hear voices and I say quick prayer. Please let it be good news.

“Mum… mum, I’m in!”

Small boy has his first choice University. We are both overjoyed and so relieved that we dance around the house in our pyjamas, waving arms and singing at the tops of our voices.

Later, for our mum-Smallboy treat, we hop on the tram into town to eat noodles and buy jeans. Even later than that, my son and what seems like every 18-year-old on our estate, heads back into town to dance the night (and most of the next morning) away.

Which gives me time to pour myself a well-deserved whisky, raise a toast to my youngest child and think,

“Thank the Lord that’s the last time…”

End of an era…

beckyjo1251 Comment

Sunday 21 July 2024

Friday was my last day in my current post, after memorable 14 years …

Yes, quite an ‘end of an era‘ and I’m not sure that it has entirely sunk in as yet. Even now, sitting in a house that resembles a florist shop with enough wine, fizz and whiskey in the cupboard to last me until Christmas my head doesn’t fully know what to make of it all. I imagine that particular reality will strike home as I begin training for a new challenge at the end of August and find myself, ever so completely, out of my comfort zone for the first time in a decade!

But, whilst the location and the colleagues will change, I shall continue working with young people. I got some amazing letters from pupils this term and I think it sort of hit me like a thunderbolt that, for some of them at least, I was ‘that teacher‘; the one who inspires, who builds up, who encourages them to be more that they dreamed possible and who is never forgotten. And that feels phenomenal, such a privilege and … unbelievable! Because when you set out on a career path, you never quite know how it is going to turn out.

And the same is very much true of parenting too.

Yes, back at home we are also fast approaching the end of an era. Small boy has finished his A levels and, with everything crossed (because Physics paper 2 was an abomination), plans to head off to university in the Autumn. Gracious me; when I started my last job he was nervously lining up outside Reception class and now… on the verge of setting out into a new life in a new city.

And he is a great kid, as are my girls, which also hit me the other evening. Because, who can predict what type of parent any of us are destined to be? I know I have made lots of mistakes, I could fill several posts with all them all, but nonetheless when I look at my lovely offspring, with their kind and caring ways, I’ll confess I feel pretty proud of myself as a mum too.

Yep, over the last 14 years, I’ve not done at all badly either at work or at home. So here’s to a ‘little bit of new’ mixed with ‘a good portion of carrying on‘ as I look ahead to the next stage of life’s big adventure…

Resolutions update…

beckyjo1251 Comment

22 January 2024

As we approach the final week of January, I pause to think about how my resolutions are going…

Let’s recap my quartet of intentions:

Saving money: aiming for £400 per month

January brings the annual tax bill when I have to pay back most of my Child Benefit in one of the UK’s harshest penalties against those is us not living in happy coupledom. (Even the Tory Chancellor, as recently reported in many media, recognises the unfairness ”There is a very big distortion in the marginal rate of tax that people earn and I fully accept there is an unfairness with what happens with dual income families” ). Fortuitously though, as I log in to pay my dues this year, I am pleasantly surprised to find a tax refund sitting on my account.

Scarcely has the good fortune sunk in however, before two unexpected costs hit the family budget.

Small boy, hurtling rapidly towards his 18th birthday, suddenly realises that, to make the most of his newly found adulthood in our local hostelries, he needs ID and his passport has expired. So I have to find £82.50 to apply for a new one. 

And, on a far less cheery note, prepped and crammed with chemistry facts, my nervous son also attends a university interview at his institution of first choice and …it is awful. I am tempted to name and shame the establishment but, unlike the arrogant, asinine specimens who interview him, I do have a shred of integrity and professionalism, so shall refrain. Their behaviour is absolutely disgusting, laughing at my child’s answers, making cheap jibes and leaving him shell shocked and demoralised. It takes a lot of time to help him get over this … and I am also forced to blow the strict food budget on an emergency recovery take-away!

So financial ups and downs but, with a week to go, I think I might just scrape it, which is a great start to a year of saving.

Buying a nice item for the foodbank as part of my weekly shop

This one is a big tick. I love deciding what to buy each week. Plus, as I add my offerings to the crammed foodbank crate, it a gloriousreminder that there are a lot of kind folk in this world and that together our small acts do combine to make something of significance.

Running/walking at least a mile a day in January

Ughh … what a chore! I completed this challenge a few years ago and breezed through it, but looking back, that was a January in semi-lockdown, when working partially from home and having absolutely nothing to do with any evening made things a lot easier. Roll onto the busyness of 2024 and already I have given up on Wednesdays when late night meetings, grabbing food and dashing off to orchestra mean that I can’t even think about exercise until 10pm and … who wants to be lacing up their trainers at that hour?

Then there is the weather; dark and snowy. On two occasions, I narrowly avoid being run over by cars coming out of their drives without looking. On another icy evening I fall flat on my ‘posterior’ – ouch! And on slippy Saturday, grinding around the local woods with my run buddy, we are moving so slowly that she eventually starts walking and overtakes me, with a parody of the famous Harry Enfield jockey sketch , “Hello … how are you?” That run gets abandoned, as we collapse in laughter and decided tea and cake is a much better way to spend the morning.

Thank the Lord, there are only 9 more days to go

Taking part in Bloganuary

Last but by no means least. This is an utterly fabulous resolution! The daily prompt actually makes me enjoy waking up each morning, a creativity boost that even beats caffeine! (See my Bloganuary page for the full set of … pretty random thoughts!)

So, all in all, I think I am doing OK and in any case, it has all kept me so busy that I’ve scarcely had time to bemoan the misery of January this year. So here’s to resolutions…

Resolutions resolutions resolutions …

beckyjo1252 Comments

6 January 2024

Now I know that not everyone’s keen on the traditional New Year’s Resolutions but I happen to be a big fan! As a busy single mum, I actually find it quite luxurious to have 31 days out of the full 365 (this year 366!) when I routinely make time to focus on my own quests and challenges. And even more importantly, January is such a grim month that any kind of distraction is a welcome relief! So without any further ado, here I go!

  1. Saving money: I found out last year that my Eldest child cannot apply for a maintenance loan for her fifth year at Medical School, because Student Finance only provide money for 4 years of any degree. Do not get me started on the injustice of this, for students from less affluent backgrounds and the sheer ridiculous notion that this will in any way help to address the UK’s doctor shortage … or we shall be here all day. It is an unavoidable reality and so I am aiming to save £400 per month for 8 months, as my contribution to bridging the gap between the £1 000 bursary that the NHS provide for the year and the £9 000-£10 000 that students usually live on. Could be a tough one in the midst of a cost of living crisis, but I’m throwing myself in at the deep end with direct debit to a savings account and … we’ll see how I fare!
  2. Buying a nice item for the foodbank as part of my weekly shop: whenever you are feeling despondent about the state of the world, take a trip to your local supermarket! During December in particular, there were so many wonderful people in the foyer, raising money for the community and trying to make life a little bit better for everyone, that I was inspired to help in a small way too. So I started to add an extra purchase to my weekly shop and drop it into one of the food banks on the way out. And I am going to continue.
  3. Running/walking at least a mile a day in January: this one marks a determined effort to limp back to fitness after having huge problems with my knee in 2023. Exercising daily does, however, place unusually high demands on my rather limited sportswear wardrobe. When Small boy complimented me upon my ‘cool retro’ leggings yesterday, I did have to confess that they looked vintage because they actually were! I was sporting a very old pair, dug out of the drawer, that I first bought in the 1990s!
  4. Taking part in Bloganuary: at 6 days in, I am loving this one! The blogging community all respond to the same writing prompt each day throughout January, which I joined to give my writing a kickstart. It is very flexible and huge fun: sometime I write a couple of sentences, on other days I’ll write more. I have enjoyed the writing but the unexpected bonus is that I have discovered so many other great blogs along the way, such as My Tatty Sketchbook and Dan Loves Film.

And that’s me! All good so far, but I am only a week into the opening month of the year. Let’s see how I’m doing next weekend…

Mum, I’m in A and E!

beckyjo1251 Comment

Friday 24 November 2023

A 6am text pings into the darkness of Sunday morning,

“Mum, I’m in A &E…”

It is Prom-dress daughter.

A Saturday night out has ended with my younger daughter slipping on the wet Edinburgh cobbles and splitting her head open.

“Apparently, I sprung up ready to party on!” 

she tells me later, shouting,

“Whose round is it next?”

Fortunately for us all, her friends insist instead that she heads to A &E, by which time she is throwing up, blacking out, slurring her speech… and is admitted for a severe concussion.

By the time she calls me, she has been in the hospital for over 6 hours and is being ‘glued’ back together, and a few hours after that is finally allowed to leave but under strict instructions to do very little for the next week….and her matted and blood stained hair must definitely go nowhere near a shower!

It seems a good time to come home!

So I drive up to the Scottish capital and bring her back to our corner of the North West for a few days. And this, when she stops the distinctly alarming trait of suddenly falling asleep or randomly sitting down with her head between her knees with a dizzy spell, is rather lovely. Both Small Boy and I find it lots of fun to have our usual house of two suddenly swelled to three. Throw in the good fortune of a Friday off work (disaggregated CPD day for the fellow educators out there) and it becomes a  top time for us all. Who would have thought it? Maybe those who penned the wise old adage ‘every cloud has a silver lining‘.

I am happy to report that, by the end of the week, Prom-dress daughter is fully recovered, can finally wash her hair and is booking a return train to Uni land. Circumstances aside, however, it has been an unexpected treat to have her back for few days and we shall miss her as she inter-cities North….

A happy half term…

beckyjo1254 Comments

Sunday 29 October 2023

After a pretty terrible few weeks, half term seems like a gift from the Gods…

From literary exploits in lkley, then a catch-up with my eldest daughter on beautiful Tynemouth beach, to lunching and coffees with friends and family upon my return to the Northwest, the precious week passes by in a happy haze.

Could I also brand it as successful?

‘Well in the Expert Editor blog post ‘8 things unsuccessful people do in their free time’, failing to make time for loved ones comes in at number 4, so maybe I can. Furthermore, the same cautionary list cites ‘ignoring their health’ as the third common trait of the unsuccessful and this week I become something of a fitness fiend with daily yoga on top of gruelling arthritis exercises and lots of walking!

So good fortune is clearly in the air and, lo and behold better is to come. On Thursday night, Smallboy and I are grappling with some A level Physics revision and up to our ears in quarks, baryons and antimatter when a email notification pops onto the screen.

“Oh no mum… it’s from UCAS…it says I have one decision..”

In what feels like an age, my son manages to log into his portal, and sure enough a ‘decision awaits’, He descends into talking gibberish and is clearly in a bit of a panic,

“I think this means a rejection mum, someone at college got an offer last week and she showed me her screen and I’m sure it said offer … not decision.”

But, other UCAS hopefuls take heart, because this is not the case at all. Instead we find Small boy’s first University offer and he is over the moon. Quarks are cast aside as he races off to text… everyone! And to open two celebratory beers to mark the moment,

“This means if I get my grades… I am actually off to Uni”

he repeats several times, as if unable to believe that it is all real. He is excitement and relief all rolled into one.

So, that seals the deal for this half term; a happy and very successful week…