Single Parent

I got on the plane!

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Friday 31 October 2025

In recent years, I’ve become a regular at the local airport; dropping off, picking up, loitering at the arrivals gate, paying astronomical parking fees (even once being fined for forgetting to pay them!). I swear that some of the staff now greet me by name! But the one thing I’ve not done… since 2019… is fly anywhere. No, I have been strictly a chauffeur…until this weekend!

Yes, readers, I actually get on the plane!

With my two salaried daughters, who now pay for themselves, I jet off to Brussels for a long weekend. I am beyond excited. I refuse to have ‘carry on luggage only’ and fork out for a 20kg case. Overpack to ridiculous proportions, fill my purse with Euros, doubtless drive the girls insane …. and what fun I have!

Brussels could just possibly be the perfect weekend destination. Not too big, effortlessly elegant and a delight to while away the hours in.

We shop, we stop regularly to sample the famous beer, we eat … lots of frites, plenty of waffles and, of course the reknowned ‘Moules’

and we just enjoy wandering around the pretty streets and squares.

Some parts of the city so French, other, such as the Grand Place with its heavy Gothic architecture very … I was going to say Germanic, but Flemish is probably more accurate. We certainly take a lot of pics!

All too soon I am being dragged reluctantly back to the ‘Flixbus’ stop to start the return leg to Blighty. I would love to have stretched this out for another 24 hours. Back on home soil, I do manage to briefly extend our break when I espy and report an ‘unattended bag’ on the shuttle back to the car park and we, along with all the other passengers, are evacuated …. for 15 minutes until the next shuttle arrives!

But it’s only a short delay until I am back home… and already dreaming of my next trip. The financial barrier of paying for everyone and everything seems to be gone (for now), and my travel bug is definitely back!

Even better than Stevie Wonder?

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Tuesday 8 July 2025

Did I even mention that Stevie is at the very top of my ‘top three artists I’d love to see live’ list?

I know, probably only about fifty times! Anyway, when a friend hears that my idol is coming a Manchester venue, they express-message the news in bold BLOCK CAPITALS

“STEVIE WONDER 5th August!!! How many tickets?”

And I can’t believe it, because in my heart I think I had never expected to actually make this dream come true.

So why do I  pause? It is that  date…that date rings a bell. I glance at the calendar. And I instantly know that I’ll be giving Stevie, and ‘Superstition’ and those sweet harmonica tunes a serve. Because we have an even better event to attend. Between the 4th and 7th of July, we have not one, but two graduations!

So pushing thoughts of funky soul music aside, we drive North for said July weekend, and what a time we have!

It is four days of unbridled joy. My baby girls, all grown up and graduated! Looking so happy and making me feel so unbelievably proud. The ceremonies and speeches are wonderful, the family meals fun and the fizzy wine freely flowing – looking at some of the pics, a little too freely!

Of course I shed the occasional tear. Hearing the newly qualified doctors all reciting ‘The Oath’ is quite a moment. And in Edinburgh, from high up in the iconic McEwan Hall, seeing Prom Dress daughter, the quiet little soul who didn’t speak for her first 6 months at school, turning to smile confidently to the audience as she receives her scroll, gives me goosebumps.

And of course there are some moments. Small boy and I stay in some very basic University accommodation in Edinburgh and both have to get suited and booted for the fanciful events in small public toilets! At some point, the memory of how is now a little hazy, we also acquire a tartan flat cap!

But perhaps the most  unbelievable moment comes as Ex-Hub and I are watching a procession of new graduates leave the hall in the Scottishcapital.

Ex-Hub takes me aside to say,

I feel so proud but you; you must feel incredible. For all you’ve done I wanted to say. ‘Thank you’

I am dumbfounded. If I’d never believed I would ever see Stevie Wonder in person, then this pales against this. These are simply words I never even dared to dream of hearing! Nothing short of miraculous.

But let me not digress; this weekend and this post belong to my beautiful daughters and to both of themI say,

I got faith in you girl

Stevie Wonder single 2016 from the Soundtrack to Sing

You go out, shape this world for the better and live your best lives now.

As for Stevie, now that I have been convinced that miracles can happen,  … maybe next time?

The February Birthdays

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8 February 2025

Oh February, for decades the month of the ‘double birthday’ with two of my children celebrating their births on consecutive days! Until this year, the first one where neither of them is at home ….

One is is Nepal, one is is a University lab and both happy and well. Gifts and cards are sent and calls are made … nonetheless …

My social media feed lights up with ‘memories’ of parties past. Crowded tables of little children munching party food, smiling faces at local soft-play centres, and plenty of cakes and candles. Then to more recent times and the teenage years;  thumping music, beer pong, disco balls, loud singing and that very same table groaning with alcohol.

And in the echoing silence of a house now empty of my three offspring, I feel a little forlorn …

How to impress your children…

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Friday 17 January 2025

Well it’s with a traffic cone as it turns out!

Oh the humble traffic cone, so often the unlikely hero of late night pranks. Something about the combination of our endless town-centre roadworks and a good helping of alcohol has made it quite commonplace to see those bold orange and white striped mounds of plastic adorning historic statues, topping iconic buildings and appearing in student kitchens on hung-over morning-afters.

But my cone is not in this ilk at all. Oh no, it is far more respectful. Let me reveal all…

I am driving through the gates of a large institution for a morning meeting when I stop to ask where to park. After a quick verification of my ID I am waved towards … my very own parking spot. Yes a traffic cone, with my name, (my actual name!) on it, stands proud guard over a reserved space just outside the reception.

As chance would have it, I am on a call with my eldest child at this very moment and so impressed is she with the news that, as I am hopping out of the driver’s seat to move the cone, her amplified voice bellows out on speaker phone

“Your name is on it! That is so cool, take a picture mum!”

Passersby look a little startled and all I can do is shrug, point at the cone and say

“Not every day you get your name on a cone!”

What I don’t add, but it could, is that it is even less every-day is doing anything that impresses your children. It is a great start to Friday…

Christmas 2024

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Monday 30 December 2024

Sitting with a coffee and one, of many, left over mini-mince pies, it seems the perfect moment to look back at the festive break…

Once all my kids are safely home, despite load upon load of dirty washing and a speeding ticket, courtesy of the variable-speed-lottery of the M5, it ffeels as if Christmas has begun. It means help with the food shop, extra hands for decorations, time-honoured  cheesy festive films and a house full of laughter and companionship again.

And so to the ‘big day’ itself. Much is familiar: guests, food, crackers, games and fizz.

But there are a few new twists. The hot water packs in on Christmas Eve, so it is cold showers for the hard-core (and a bit of festive grime for the rest) throughout the social season.

Most significant of all, there is  an extra pair of hands in the kitchen… the ill-fated Smallboy. Buoyed by the success of some roast potatoes he’d served up for pals at Uni, he begged to join the Christmas cooking crew. But scarcely had we added his name to the spreadsheet … oh yes, you heard me right, I never do the Xmas dinner without microsoft excel … than calamity starts to dog his every culinary move. Half of our usual crispy spuds became an impromptu mash… and the first tray of turkey had to be hurriedly scooped from the floor, whilst we distracted guests with crackers and paper hats.

I also branch out with my desserts, introducing after -dinner-coffee with  a mini mince pie – Ta da!  In my head,  ‘ultra-chic’. In reality, it goes down about as well as last year’s ‘signature cocktails’ … not a single blinkin’ taker! And hence why, with January on the horizon, I am still munching my way through several boxes of the darned festive pastries!

With the cooking done and the board games exhausted we sink happily down to watch the ‘Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special‘ and my oh my it does no disappoint. I mean. if you were not misty eyed as Mick stands up at the wedding ceremony and up on your feet cheering as the entire cast race to Portsmouth,,, quite frankly, what is wrong with you?

And so the sun sets on another spell of festive cheer. Smith and Ness are married, me and my kids have been re-united. For now, at least, all is well with the world…

Laughs, Lit and late night rehearsals..

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Sunday 13 October 2024

Seriously, how did I ever manage to live life before I dropped to a 4-day week? This has been one busy weekend…

Friday night is dinner and drinks with some old colleagues and it makes me realise, a little sadly, how much less I laugh in my new place of work.

Is the job I have now easier?

Yes!

Is it less stressful?

Yes!

But, and as it turns out it is a big but,

Do I now have, bestie work buddies….?

Alas, I do not. Of course I do not, I have only been there for 7 weeks, whereas I worked for for 14 years in my previous post. And over that long stretch of time, you make some fantastic friendships. You have doors you can knock on, for a rant, a cry or…most importantly the chance to double up with laughter and shake with mirth until tears run down your face. And I don’t think I had realised how much I had missed that and how important it was to me until we arrange our meet up. We share a little wine, we eat good food, swap stories and have a great catch-up.

Saturday, I head to Ilkley and my second trip to the famous literature festival, which really is an incredible event. In the local churches and school halls of this small Yorkshire town, fine writers and many celebrity names, rub shoulders with us mere mortals to give talks about their latest publications. This years’ programme included: Jodi Picoult, Kate Atkinson, Julian Clary, Gyles Brandreth, Prue Leith, John Suchet, Carol Ann Duffy… and Teresa May!

We have tickets for a cricketing talk and Paul Sinha… yes, the guy from ‘The Chase’ and dodge the showers to grab quick coffees and rushed nachos as we hop from one location to another. Its fun, the speakers are engaging and witty and it makes for a great day out.

Sunday, I dash about doing some chores and straightening up the homestead before setting the SatNav for Preston. I have a late night rehearsal, the final one in a trilogy of madness, preparing for a concert next weekend. Three long hours, 7pm to 10pm, has been a killer on a Sunday night and, as a I eventually drive home, the windscreen wipers going nineteen to the dozen as they battle the torrential rain, it is cold and dark and I am a weary woman. But a happy one too.

After all, whats a weekend for… if not for living life to the full…

Play List for Life

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Friday 20 September 2024

I hear about, National Playlist Day, on the radio this morning. It is a UK-wide online event, that celebrates the power of music for people with dementia. The event encourages people to share a song from their past on social media using the hashtag #NationalPlaylistDay. So what song(s) would we all pick? What are the tracks that instantly transport us back to a former place or time? Here are some of mine…

‘Panic’ by the Smiths whisks me back to the Summer of 1986 where, with two of my friends, I had discovered the Hacienda night club. Here the dress-code was free and easy, everyone danced all night and this track…well this track made the whole place go wild. Manchester seemed like the coolest city on the planet and being young and free, well that felt as if it would last forever.

Steve Wonder’s ‘Superstition’, gosh for so many reasons my favourite pop song, but one of these is certainly that it reminds me of University and the much loved cellar disco. A Monday night staple for students in our college. Do some work then simply stumble down the steps of ‘The Cellar’ for beer, a catch-up and a dance. So simple, so perfect…why is life no longer this good?

Tracey Chapman was the soundtrack to my 5 month trip around South East Asia. Something about her soulful, emotive lyrics must have suited the fruit muesli backpackers of Yogyakarta and Kuta Beach back in the late 1980s. I bought the album from a street seller while I was over there (and still have it) ‘Baby can I hold you…‘ ‘Fast car...’ , they come on the radio and I am transported back to another continent.

Proud Mary – the Tina Turner classic. This one makes me howl with laughter. The occasion, a colleague’s wedding. The laughing-until-we- cried? My dreadful dancing; swaying about in a world of my own, devoid of any rhythm or connection to either the music or anyone else on the dance floor … all immortalised for ever on a colleague’s phone video and on the leaving card they made for me.

I turn to think about family. Music and my parents – so many pieces remind me of them, but this song, by Steven Sondheim, is my favourite memory. I can still see them singing it together in the kitchen; those lyrics are just so beautiful, and the moment was just so lovely,

The sun comes up, I think about you
The coffee cup, I think about you
I want you so, it’s like I’m losing my mind ……

But I’ll finish with my children, we share countless silly songs that make me laugh out loud but my three song picks take me back to specific moments and places, that I can still picture as if I were there.

‘Your Song’ was voted the nation’s favourite Elton John hit in a recent poll. For me however, it was hearing Euan Magregor sing it in Moulin Rouge that really put it onto my radar. The year I saw this movie was 2002, the same year as my first child was born. Hearing it now reminds me of singing it to her in our lounge, as I tried to rock her to sleep, the lyrics just perfect for the arrival of such an amazing little person in our lives.

‘Fix you‘ is my tune for Prom-dress daughter and she would know why. We’d both be back in the car on a Saturday morning, after Music Centre, queuing for the car wash with me trying (and failing) for the umpteenth time to learn the harmonies in the chorus. Much laughter and, from such a ordinary moment, such joyful times.

And I finish with Smallboy. Nat King Cole was blasting from the radio in the delivery suite when he was born. ‘Let there be Love’  Its a terrific tune and when I hear it now I recall, with a smile how I, high as a kite on gas and air stood up, resembling a magnificent beached whale, to perform this number for the astonished midwife, using a mouthpiece as a microphone.

Music … truly one of life’s great gifts. Whether it’s for a future playlist when ill, or just for the sheer fun of it, take a trip down memory lane and think about the songs that you’d put on yours …

The Great North Run

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Sunday 8 September 2024

Does anything prepare you for the emotion of seeing your little girl running a half marathon amidst the incredible throngs of the Great North Run …

We manage the early start! After a long day yesterday dropping Smallboy off at University, Prom-dress daughter resolutely set our alarms and, posters packed, raincoats on and swigging down hasty cups of caffeine, we hit the road to Newcastle.

We manage the journey. Undaunted by M62 closures and a myriad of North East traffic diversions, my middle child skillfully navigates me to the centre of town and by noon, wristbands on we are riding the Newcastle Metro to our race spot.

We manage the crowds. The steamy carriage is rammed with spectators, all swapping tracking updates and top tips for good vantage positions. Although it looks as if we are full, to bursting, at every stop the masses somehow manage to squeeze every closer to let a few more avid race viewers join the odyssey.

We even manage a bit of lunch. Our tracking app reports a delay to the start time for ‘our runner‘, my lovely eldest child and hence, the window opens for us to eat. By chance we happen upon the best of eateries; a mall cafe just outside the Southshields Metro stop. The welcome is warm and the food and prices are amazing – £7.99 each buys us a delicious hot meal accompanied with a pot of tea and a plate of bread and butter.

Ooh – that’ll do us nicely thank you!

We manage..just about…to find a great spot to watch the runners. The rain is lashing down and it is a bracing battle, across muddy banks to our marker, one mile back from the finish. But then, gosh what a sight. Thousands of runners battling bravely along the road, all shapes and sizes, all levels of fitness, sporting countless charity T-shirts, some unbelievable costumes and manging to keep going despite the conditions. It is such an inspiring moment.

And, what we…or should I say I…do not manage is to hold it together as my daughter comes running into view. I am so overwhelmed with pride and emotion that, waving our banner like a lunatic, I actually run out into the road, teary eyed to give her a hug and a kiss – eek! (I hope I don’t slow her down too much!)

Out meeting at the end is very joyful and long after we survive the hour long wait for a Metro and I eventually drive back to the NorthWest her fundraiser page hits a whopping £1000 for the Alzheimer’s Society.

What an achievement, what a girl…what a great day…

Small boy goes to University…

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Saturday 7 September 2024

Deep breaths and a spare pack of tissues for me today, for a day I have been dreading has finally dawned. Small boy is leaving home, to start his University adventures …

Of course I am incredibly proud; he is hard-working, talented and has a genuine passion for his subject. It goes without saying that, having loved my own University years, it is all that I would want for him. But golly gosh, it is going to be a wrench and, forgive the cliche but, the end of an era. For three years it has been ‘Mum and Small boy’ in this house, sharing crazy jokes, the silliest of songs, episodes of ‘Suits‘ or ‘The Office‘ , Sunday roasts and Friday takeaways. Such great memories and so much laughter… the thought of the house without him is… well it is unthinkable. Gulp; I need to get it together!

And I do, mostly. Prom-dress daughter is joining us on the road-trip South, for moral support and an extra hand with all the boxes and bags of belongings. With Windsor packed to the rafters with pots, pans, Korean noodles, gaming consoles and, or course, Geoffrey the Bear, we hit the M6. Someone’s Spotify playlist is streamed onto the car radio and, with the promise, of a breakfast stop en-route spirits are high. If only Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Changes’ hadn’t been queued, even I might have made it all the way with dry eyes. But, come on, those lyrics would break even the most resolute!

Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

Let’s hope no-one else in the car notices as I quickly brush a few tears from my cheeks.

Happily, there is not time for melancholy, as we hit the bright lights of a new student city, all buzzing with life and excitement. The challenges of parking and lugging the contents of the boot up to the 6th floor in an apartment building where the lift is ‘out of order‘ are now centre-stage. We may be red-faced and sweaty but Small boy’s room is soon looking pretty stylish and, although he is a little nervous, cheerfully greets his flat mates, who seem lovely. We have time for a quick stroll around the city and decide it is time to leave as he is sitting chatting in the kitchen with his new household, setting up a WhatsApp group and planning a night at the pub.

For Small boy, I know that the days will just get better and better, full of opportunities, stretching your brain around amazing ideas and embarking on terrific new friendships. For me, now a confirmed empty nester… it is more of an unknown. The Satnav is set for home and, as I steer Windsor into the darkness, with Prom-dress daughter now asleep by my side, it feels more like an abyss for me, than a bright new dawn.

I am sure I will adapt in time, but I realise I really was not ready for this. Round and round in my head, play the haunting  words of the great Stevie Nicks,

‘I’ve been afraid of changin’, ’cause I’ve built my life around you…’

The cake run 5: Old School Cake

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Friday 23 August 2024

Some days just have a pleasing symmetry …

Old school cake

I simply could not be in higher spirits as we stride out this morning. I took the big decision, several months ago, to move on from a school I’d worked at for over a decade but agreed, as usual, to run their examination results days. Yesterday was the final one of these, GCSEs and other vocational qualifications. As the young people leave with their envelopes of grades, the wave of relief that it is now someone else’s job: to analyse the data, to communicate the conclusions to various audiences and to set the priorities for the next academic year…well it washes over me like a tsunami of joy. I feet elated, I feel giddy…I feel free!

And today, I am still on cloud nine!

Our walk is a reverse of a previous route and possibly because we have trodden these paths before (albeit with a pleasing 180 rotation) or possibly because another benefit of walking, over running, is that you have far more time to observe and enjoy your surroundings … or possibly just because I am feeling on top of the world, I take in new details that I missed the first time around. My favourite are the NORI bricks!

NORI bricks? Well here is tale the of these ‘Accrington’ celebrities. The bricks are famed for their extreme hardness, allowed by the chemical make-up of the clay gathered from the neighbouring quarry. As for the name, well that originated when the word “iron”, denoting their strength, was painted upside down on the works chimney. The resulting misapprehension led to a joke which became a widely used nickname.

So the bricks are ‘back to front’ and our walk is also, by comparison to our previous hike, end to start. It all sees to fit!

As does the cake. Today’s exercise-reward is a generous slab of ‘Old School Cake’, this retro-wonder of confectionary so named because it evokes the classic cake often served with school dinners. For me, moving on from my most significant educational role, well what could be a more perfect choice? It is also delicious. Tasty, tasty, tasty cake that I polish off in quick time. As ever, I’ll confess to scraping away the icing and, with images of the school canteen of my childhood, find myself yearning for a bit of custard instead…just not the crazy pink stuff they sometimes poured out!

So some nostalgia for the past, genuine relief to be reducing my workload and optimism for the future. A decent bit of cake, plus a fine stretch of the legs. This was a good day …