Could this be the best Advent Calendar in the world?

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Saturday 23 December 2023

Woohoo everyone; two days until the ‘Big Day’ and what a frenzied and frantic December it has been! Three cheers to Smallboy and his French Horn, who have broken every family record for the number of Christmas concerts a person can appear but, this is the first moment of quiet I’ve found for a blog post and, before it is too late, I must write something about my Advent Calendar…

Ooh yes, just look at the jammy treats hiding behind the doors of my Christmas count-down creation!

Now; I have to confess that I’ve previously scorned the trend for lavish Advent Calendars. And spending hundreds, sometimes thousands of pounds on luxury epics from Fortnum and Mason, Liberty or Dior still seems like insanity itself and the preserve of those with ‘more money than sense’. But, speaking of preserves….

This year, my daughter sends me the ‘Bonne Maman‘ calendar and … it is fantastic! Every morning a little jar that is so delicious I find five minutes, in my usually strict no-breakfast dash for work, to indulge in a hot buttered crumpet topped with a dash of the latest jam. Strawberry, apricot, caramel, blackcurrant; it is all utterly scrumptious.

So amidst the relentlessly busy days and nights of December, I have my breakfast moments to savour. Goodness gracious, those jams are so tasty I actually look forward to getting up on the dark and chilly mornings. I also discover that racing off to work with some food in my stomach really does makes the day feel a lot better!

But if I thought the Bonne Maman bonanza couldn’t get any better, Small boy, in a creative moment of pure genius, spots that the empty jars are the perfect size for a shot of Baby Guinnes. It is a cocktail of Christmassy delight and, as my offspring all return for the Yuletide holidays, proves to be a universal household hit!

Well, this settles any dispute for me; his year I’ve definitely made it through December with the best Advent Calendar in the world!

And so, this evening, I raise a mini-jam jar of coffee liqueur and Baileys, to one and all. Whatever your festive holidays look like this year, try to find five minutes for yourself in each day, appreciate the gifts from those who care about you, go with the flow of any teenage ‘good ideas‘ and … enjoy!

Mum, I’m in A and E!

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Friday 24 November 2023

A 6am text pings into the darkness of Sunday morning,

“Mum, I’m in A &E…”

It is Prom-dress daughter.

A Saturday night out has ended with my younger daughter slipping on the wet Edinburgh cobbles and splitting her head open.

“Apparently, I sprung up ready to party on!” 

she tells me later, shouting,

“Whose round is it next?”

Fortunately for us all, her friends insist instead that she heads to A &E, by which time she is throwing up, blacking out, slurring her speech… and is admitted for a severe concussion.

By the time she calls me, she has been in the hospital for over 6 hours and is being ‘glued’ back together, and a few hours after that is finally allowed to leave but under strict instructions to do very little for the next week….and her matted and blood stained hair must definitely go nowhere near a shower!

It seems a good time to come home!

So I drive up to the Scottish capital and bring her back to our corner of the North West for a few days. And this, when she stops the distinctly alarming trait of suddenly falling asleep or randomly sitting down with her head between her knees with a dizzy spell, is rather lovely. Both Small Boy and I find it lots of fun to have our usual house of two suddenly swelled to three. Throw in the good fortune of a Friday off work (disaggregated CPD day for the fellow educators out there) and it becomes a  top time for us all. Who would have thought it? Maybe those who penned the wise old adage ‘every cloud has a silver lining‘.

I am happy to report that, by the end of the week, Prom-dress daughter is fully recovered, can finally wash her hair and is booking a return train to Uni land. Circumstances aside, however, it has been an unexpected treat to have her back for few days and we shall miss her as she inter-cities North….

Raising your son to be a good man…

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Saturday 18 November 2023

When the perils of parenting teens bring you into the world of dating advice … eek!

Small boy has had a really nice girlfriend for several months now and they look super happy and carefree. Meanwhile, I find myself in less tranquil waters, wondering what, if any, advice I should give?

I know parents… utter nightmare terrain! Plus, if I’m honest, I’ve always had a slight worry about moments like this for my son, who has had to grow up with a shortage of male role models in our ‘house of girls’. Are my motherly words of wisdom enough, I ponder, or should I call his dad to suggest a manly heart to heart?

Well, as we are careering through the week and en-route to one of many 18th birthday parties on my boy’s busy social calendar, it transpires that he is to hear from both parents and that that between us, we have sound advice to offer…

Car journeys; for some unfathomable reason always a rich source of conversation and companionship for us. Maybe this is why, as we are navigating our way through the dark Autumnal evening, I decide to take my chance and bring up his relationship

“Oh mum, not the bird and the bees talk!’,

my son laughs

“Dad had that toe-curling conversation with me back in year 8!”

Phew! I’m not ashamed to admit I’m pretty relieved to be off that particular hook, so instead I continue on a different track,

“Well I’m glad he did. because, when the time comes, it is important to be careful. But there are other things that are probably even more important … “

And so it is that we talk of respect, kindness and taking care of our partner’s heart and their dignity through good times…and bad. I tell my son never to be a cheat, but to make a decision and finish one relationship before he starts another. I ask him to find the time to end alliances with a courageous conversation … and never by text, because everyone deserves this. Even when the message is sad or difficult, we honour others with our honesty and care.

He simply smiles and says,

“Of course mum… you’ve brought me up to be a good man”

Gosh, I hope so because, even with my son’s many talents and accomplishments, if I have, it will be my proudest achievement …

A happy half term…

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Sunday 29 October 2023

After a pretty terrible few weeks, half term seems like a gift from the Gods…

From literary exploits in lkley, then a catch-up with my eldest daughter on beautiful Tynemouth beach, to lunching and coffees with friends and family upon my return to the Northwest, the precious week passes by in a happy haze.

Could I also brand it as successful?

‘Well in the Expert Editor blog post ‘8 things unsuccessful people do in their free time’, failing to make time for loved ones comes in at number 4, so maybe I can. Furthermore, the same cautionary list cites ‘ignoring their health’ as the third common trait of the unsuccessful and this week I become something of a fitness fiend with daily yoga on top of gruelling arthritis exercises and lots of walking!

So good fortune is clearly in the air and, lo and behold better is to come. On Thursday night, Smallboy and I are grappling with some A level Physics revision and up to our ears in quarks, baryons and antimatter when a email notification pops onto the screen.

“Oh no mum… it’s from UCAS…it says I have one decision..”

In what feels like an age, my son manages to log into his portal, and sure enough a ‘decision awaits’, He descends into talking gibberish and is clearly in a bit of a panic,

“I think this means a rejection mum, someone at college got an offer last week and she showed me her screen and I’m sure it said offer … not decision.”

But, other UCAS hopefuls take heart, because this is not the case at all. Instead we find Small boy’s first University offer and he is over the moon. Quarks are cast aside as he races off to text… everyone! And to open two celebratory beers to mark the moment,

“This means if I get my grades… I am actually off to Uni”

he repeats several times, as if unable to believe that it is all real. He is excitement and relief all rolled into one.

So, that seals the deal for this half term; a happy and very successful week…

When to teach kids about money?

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Tuesday 24 October 2023

Invest, save or spend? Cash or crypto? Stick to the budget.. or ‘live for the moment’? In a cost of living crisis, managing money has never seemed more bewildering. But what to teach our kids…and when?

That’s what I’m challenged to think about in the ‘Money Matters’ talk at the Ilkley Literature Festival this weekend. The engaging speakers, from the Bank of England and the Financial Times, know their stuff and breathe life into what could have been a very dry hour.

Both are passionate about having financial education on the school curricula, which I am happy to report is already in place, usually delivered during personal development lessons. And there are some terrific projects out there; at my place of work, these have been so popular that annual feedback from pupils consistently asks for more input in this area.

The growth of creative ideas to interest pupils in thinking about economics is most welcome. Rishi Sunak may think that school is the place enable teenagers to “feel confident” with …. things like mortgage deals. More experienced educators however, who in previous years were tasked with dragging a room of 14 year-olds through a grim hour of ‘fixed rate’ or ‘interest only’ deals for first time buyers, would argue that this suggestion misses the most valuable of marks. If you want school children to listen… make it relevant!

And the financial gurus in Ilkey chime fervently with this. Of course, teach about saving and borrowing; with money in short supply, the temptation to ‘buy now and pay later’ is a real danger for young people. But (and it is a big BUT) do it in relation to something that pupils are interested in. As an example, the experts addressing the Ilkey gathering, tell us that, for one teacher in Wales this was Hair Extensions; Nicola Buter’s innovate lesson, addressing the complex world of finance, loans and interest, winning her the Interactive Investor Personal Finance Teacher of the Year Award.

Nicola Butler: winner of Interactive Investor Personal Finance Teacher of the Year Award 2021

A quick google search also yields a wealth of advice on financial first steps for toddlers and teenagers. Of course Martin Lewis is there. As early as 2007, his Teen Cash Class, promoted the use of key mantras when working with young people to break the ‘impulse buying cycle’. To be honest it is useful for anyone! When contemplating a spur of the moment buy, ask yourself,

Do I need it?

Can I afford it?

Can I get it cheaper somewhere else

The conclusion to this chapter is particularly thought-provoking and I’ll certainly be both internalising it … as well as sharing it with my offspring,

‘If I were able to give you back all the money you’ve ever spent buying things on impulse,
would you take the cash and hand over the stuff?’

Of course we would!

With most spending now migrating online, Lewis’ site also promotes the free guide from Internet Matters, Online money management tips to support young people.

There is guidance for younger children too, for whom finance usually means small amounts of pocket money. Barclays Bank, as one example among many, have designed a nice set of pocket money activities called ‘How to teach your child about money’

So engaging, fun and time-relevant for our children? Is that problem solved? Alas no, there is a snag! At some point, many will have to grapple with mortages, debts, pensions and bills. Some may be in a position to think of investments too. So when do we teach them about this? And, being honest, how many of us would actually feel equipped to do so?

For me, adult education is no different to that of school children; it needs to be relevant. Otherwise, finance can simply be a huge bore. So any advice is best received when it is needed. Hence, in many situations, that means after leaving school. So who do adults turn to?

‘Martin Lewis‘ I hear you cry, and, absolutely – the man is amazing! We could also read books and try to wade through the financial newspapers. However, can we do better than this? Many of these topics are complex and would benefit from a more interactive delivery and discussion. So here’s my question. On this most grown-up of issues, could and should FE/HE providers and employers make that contribution to our financial education?

Can companies deliver impartial training on pensions for all new employees? Should potential first time buyers be mandated to complete a free course, designed by the lenders, on managing a mortgage, looking at tips such as ‘over-payment’ to reduce the debt? How much guidance can we expect from universities about living on a student loan? How about challenging the DWP to design lessons on ‘surviving on benefits‘ or ‘escaping the poverty trap‘? And as for crypto …!

Questions questions questions! I set out in this this post to explore when to tell our kids about money matters. Isn’t the truth that in an ever-changing world, our leaders also need to think about what and when to tell all of us about this most important of areas?

Improved financial literacy cannot all be addressed with a couple more years of mathematics on the school curriculum. Additionally, some guidance would be more engaging to people now at a stage in life when the information is pertinent. Surely some well thought out work-based education be the best place for input? It could reduce financial stress, contribute to a more prosperous society … hey, we could even educate our children better. Wouldn’t that be a win for everyone?

Orange wine?

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Saturday 21 October 2023

Red, white rose or …orange?

Step outside your usual comfort zone and who knows what you will discover? For me, over the last few days it was French composers, the evolution of dolphins from land-living mammals and … the titular orange wine!

My voyage of discovery begins on Thursday with a French soiree of chamber music, cheese and (very red) wine! Music, alcohol plus a generous helping of brie and camembert… quite frankly what’s not to love? And it is a terrific evening. Have I hit the jackpot with a companion who is ‘happy to drive’? It certainly is a treat to indulge in a second interval-glass of Bordeaux! Even so, the icings on this particular ‘gateau’ are the short and well-crafted talks we get about each piece of music. I learn about neo-classicism, le prix de Rome and the fact that, even in the 20th Century, some female composers still chose to write with male pen names. One such was Louise-Marie Simon (30 November 1903 – 7 March 1990), published as Claude Arrieu,

Employing a common response to the pervasive sexism that has hobbled women’s careers across
time, Louise Marie Simon adopted a pseudonym: Claude Arrieu. Although she did not hide her
use of this pen name, it smoothed the path for publication of her music and facilitated
professional advancement.

Printed in programme notes for Kansas Symphony Orchestra 2021

Rediscovering how much I enjoy gaining new knowledge bodes well, as half-term dawns and I drive over to Yorkshire to catch up with family and also to attend the Ilkley Literature Festival. This epic event is celebrating its 50th anniversary and features talks by many famous names from the world of writing, broadcasting and research. It also has a perfect setting. Ilkley is a bustling spa town crowned as the ‘best place to live in the UK’ by the Sunday Times in 2022, and I can vouch that the plethora of bars and eateries is an absolute delight.

So we mix talks with plenty of food and beer. As we emerge from the final presentation, about the physics of the deep ocean, my mind is scrambled with Humboldt currents, the politics of guano (bird poo) and the revelation (for me at any rate) that some sea-based creatures evolved from land-based hoofed mammals, and we decide that a final glass of wine is in order.

And that’s when it happens. I am asked if I want,

“Red, white, rose or …orange wine?“

Orange wine… orange? Maybe I’m just late to this vino-party, but who knew? I ask what it is and learn that it is white wine made with ‘skin contact‘.

“As in orange skin?”

chirps in one of my beer-ed up companions. The patient sommelier smiles as he tells us

“No, the skin of the grape!“

Only I am bold enough to try it and I like it … though if blindfolded, in a taste test, am not sure I’d be able to distinguish it from a regular white. Maybe I should try a few more and The Olive Magazine, is on hand to guide the fledgling orange wine supper!

All in all, a fantastic few days. Good food and drink, great company and the chance to learn (and taste) new things … my idea of perfect!

First steps …

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Saturday 14 October 2023

First steps; often so exciting. When a toddler starts to move, maybe tottering unsteadily across the room it is a moment! Cameras are out, grandparents are called and social media posts launched to mark the milestone. We are super proud that our child has found the courage to ‘take -off’ and, moreover, we also know that this one tentative toddle signals the start of great opportunity. Suddenly, independence, adventure and a world of possibility beckons. (Before I get too carried away, newer parents take note, it is now also the moment to lock away anything breakable… at least for the next 15 years!)

But first steps can also be the most difficult. Roll the clock forward into the teen years and adult-hood and life is still throwing down the gauntlet of new challenges and unexpected curveballs and, whilst I cannot remember how it felt to take my first steps as a toddler, I can affirm that, as a grown-up, this often feels a bit overwhelming.

For inspiration, I often recall one treasured survivor on my children’s bookshelves; the genius of Michael Rosen’s Bear Hunt! Of course our journey through the world will bring us to our own version of snowstorms, rivers and swamps and situations that we were not expecting and, yes, we may feel ‘scared’ but there is usually only one way out of the problem.

“Oh no we’ve got to go through it!”

And ‘going through it’ means getting started!

So this week in our house, I resolve to engage with the arthritis exercises sent to me by the GP three weeks ago. Previously I’d cast them aside, refusing to accept that I was old and arthritic and hoping the pain and stiffness might just magically disappear. When it didn’t, I gave the sheet a cursory glance but sneered at the notion of a ‘few leg raises’ replacing the fitness I’d enjoyed with a weekly 10K run. Then, by chance, in an episode of ‘Strictly come Dancing’, one of the celebrities, who is many years younger than me, revealed that he suffers from arthritis and it inspired me to ‘get a grip’ and root out my doctor’s advice. When I finally read the instructions properly and challenge myself to step up and down 2 staircase-steps at a time

‘until you can do no more… then repeat 4 times’

I have to concede that this seemingly innocuous set of exercises is actually a blinking strenuous workout. My ‘first step‘ of trying one activity quickly turns into a full 40 minutes of movement and stretches. I’m sweating and breathless by the end and …it feels fantastic!

In a different corner of the house, Small Boy, is struggling to get started with his UCAS form, because this means having to make decisions about Universities which he has been grappling with all Summer. Where does he actually want to go, where does the poor lad think I or his dad want him to go…where does college think he should go? It is as murky a swamp as he’s faced for quite some time. But… we’ve got to go through it…

So we take a first step. I set him the task of completing the simple parts of the form: name, address, high school, hobbies etc. Once started, however, he polish off and attaches a personal statement. Then, buoyed with success, confidently clicks into the Universities section to face the dreaded shortlist of five. As I write, he’s added 4, because, as we wrote down ‘all the options’ together, it transpires that there were actually only six . He emails a college tutor about deciding between the final 2 and his relief is tangible – it is finally done!

Well, that was this week. I am sure that next will throw up some more challenges and worries. Let’s just hope that we can stick together and keep taking that first step every time a new lake, snowstorm or swamp appears…

When the Tories came to town…

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Friday 6 October 2023

Whilst the ‘red wall’  crumbled in the 2019  General Election, it remained relatively intact in Manchester, which makes the decision of Rishi and his right wingers to sweep into town, for their 2023 Conference, a rather odd choice. But what did we learn as the governing party descended onto our doorstep…

UK Election Map 2019

On conference eve, Saturday 30 September, rumours of the axing of the Northern third of the HS2 project are already circulating. Meanwhile, I set out to the theatre to watch Tanika Gupta’s adaptation of Great Expectations.

It is stunning; a narrative true to Dickens’ original tale (and what a tale!) but set in Bengal around the era of partition. The music and aromas of India make for a beautiful production and the skilful interweaving of the two cultures intensifies the themes of social mobility, love, and justice with additional layers of colonialism and racial tension. At times, the insults hurled at native Pipli (Pip) by the young Estella, brimming with loathing for his ‘smell’ and ‘greasy hair’ and nationality make for uncomfortable listening. They do however make us look at the classic tale with fresh eyes and new relevance.

As we spill out in to the mild Autumn night, to wend our way home, the audience is a buzz. The mood on the streets lively, as the city has also hosted ‘Busted’ at the Arena and the BBC Philharmonic at the Bridgwater Hall this evening. The trams are, mercifully,  fantastically frequent.

‘Thank the Lord for a decent local transport system’, think I,

But what news on those intercity links?

The next morning, grey clouds are gathering  across the skies, but do they foreshadow the events that are to unfold?

Rishi appears on ‘Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg‘. From a Salford studio, a stones throw from the centre of Manchester, the proposed destination for the HS2 London link, he is asked repeatedly about the rumours that the project it to be pulled. There is no straight answer forthcoming,

 “I’m not going to comment on all this speculation. We’ve got a project, we’ve got spades in the ground and we’re getting on with it but it’s right to focus on levelling up.”

Two days later, in a diversion from talk of trains, we get Suella Braverman. It is hardly light relief! In fact, if I found some of the language in Great Expectations unpleasant, as Suella hits her vocal stride, I feel my jaw hit the floor in shock. In a speech, described as ‘unhinged‘ by the Guardian, the, reportedly, wannabe leader of the true-blues, rains down bile and hatred on liberalism, the human rights bill and … of course foreigners, warning of a ‘hurricane‘ of mass migration coming to the UK. 

And we end with Rishi himself, using his speech to finally confirm the worst kept secret of the week; that the high speed rail link will now only run from London to Birmingham. There’s no apology, rather in a defiant patronising piece of rhetoric, Sunak expects ‘northerners’ to be grateful, as he commits to spending ‘every penny‘ of the money saved on levelling up projects across the north.

Does anyone believe a word of it?  Well let me tell you of one such proposal in our town. They announce funding of a tram extension to Manchester Airport which, as the MEN points out … already exists!

“This will come as a shock to those who’ve been using the Metrolink line to Manchester airport since [checks notes]…. November 2014”

Come on Rishi! If you want a shred of credibility, do your blinking homework!

Perhaps he just doesn’t care. Any old back of a fag-packet rubbish, (don’t panic PM, I am still currently of legal age for cigarettes) will do to keep us quiet! If they perpetuate the narrative that these afterthoughts represent great opportunity for the beleaguered regions, do they hope, we will start to buy it? 

It worked for Miss Haversham and Estella,

“Her contempt was so strong, that it became infectious, and I caught it.”

Pip in Great Expectations: C Dickens

let’s hope the residents of the North are more resilient.

The Tory circus rolls out of town after that, and this resident is not sorry to see them go. Very much like Dickens’ ruling classes, the disconnect between our government and the lives of so many of us feels unbridgeable now. They bestowed neither cheer nor respect upon our region and they brought some awful weather with them! Foreboding skies and incessant rain dogged the city throughout their stay. But this weekend is warmer and feels more optimistic. There is after all a general election next year…

Friday night…is beer night!

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Friday 29 September 2023

“Peroni in the hot tub?”

Well, that’s the best offer I’ve had in … about 30 days!

September 2023 has to go down as our ‘mensis horribilis’; a truly awful month. It saw family stresses piled upon family stresses and was topped off this week by an Ofsted inspection at work, an event universally known to inflict (unacceptable) strain on some school staff which is incredibly sad to witness.

All in all, I shall be very glad to bid farewell to the ninth month of this year and look forward to brighter times in the next. And sinking into the steamy depths of the hot tub with a couple of cool beers is the perfect place to start. Not only is it the only place where my achy arthritic limbs feel at ease at the moment. But also, in the coolness and calm of an autumnal evening, it is the perfect spot to relax, chat and unwind.

Did I say unwind? More accurately on this occasion, the hit of alcohol on my exhausted body quickly has me feeling quite tipsy and leads to much merriment. I guess it is all the same thing, as the wise old sages have often told us ‘laughter is the best medicine’ and countless studies back this up too.

“Laugh it off! Laughter reduces stress and improves well-being for all ages”

claims one report and I say “cheers to that!“

So adios September and onwards to October. It should see Small Boy’s personal statement sent off to UCAS, two new bathrooms for the house and my first orthopedic appointment (hopefully marking a return to better working joints.)

Who knows… United might even put a run of winning games together! We can only hope …

Feeling like an old banger…

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Saturday 23 September 2023

It has been a demanding month for my trusty Toyota and he is starting to show his age…he’s not the only one!

They say a picture tells a thousand words and this shot of the car boot, packed to the rafters with my daughters’ belongings as I drive into the night to deliver these first to Newcastle and then to Edinburgh, sums up how life feels at the moment….

It feels crowded; crowded with worries and dramas. Somewhere in the middle of that mountain of luggage is a small purple backpack of my overnight essentials. I cannot actually see it anymore and in parallel, I have frequently struggled, this September, to find ‘any of me’ in each demanding day.

I mean it is the 23rd day of the month and this is my first post!

Feeling lost in your own life; it is an inescapable parental condition, that we all go through at various stages; a posting on Mumsnet expresses it with great honesty,

“Every day I feel like I don’t have room for my own self and identity to exist, like I don’t even have space in my own head to even consider what I might like to do for myself for 10 minutes of the day”

To be fair, most of the stresses that have overshadowed my September have not originated from my kids. Rather, the majority have come from outside and are hence not my tale to tell, so I’ll simplify and summarise them into: hospitals, financial bombshells and guilty, sad times.

But it has all meant that the past two weeks have seen me and Windsor the trusty Toyota, doing a lots of catch-up driving. Hence the frantic 500 mile road-trip to bring, chests of drawers, clothes, plastic plants, pillows and clanking boxes of ‘kitchen stuff’ to my university girls. Then the (relatively) trifling 250 miles roundtrip for Small Boy’s final Open Day.

And Windsor is not as young as he once was. My old car is looking distinctly worn and weary. He does go into the garage for some emergency repairs this month and I also treat him to new tyres plus a wash and valet. And whilst, at 10 years old with over 130 000 miles on the clock, he’ll never be ‘as good as new’, the versatile Verso does look a lot smarter.

But what of me… well I’m also feeling like a bit of an old banger and I think it might take rather more than a wax and polish to spruce me up! After x-rays and analysis, I have recently been diagnosed with osteoarthritis so, although life presses on at its usual relentless pace, it does so with a lot of pain and a bundle of bandages. Both elbows and my right knee just do not want to work properly any more, even with significant strapping. This has taken running away, (replacing it with an uninspiring sheet of leg exercises) and with it, some valuable ‘head space’ time from my weekly routine?

Upon reflection, I resolve that this bit is fixable. My ‘trip to the garage’ turns out to be a download of a wall pilates course. And today has been calm and a glorious time to draw breath. Why; I have even found a few minutes to type again and who doesn’t feel better for a bit of blogging…